Updated: Nov 11, 2019
Credit: Complete the Story by Piccadilly
It was that fleeting hour of the day when the moon and the sun are high and bright at the same time. Like many things in my life, these summer nights wouldn't last much longer. I sat quietly on a rooftop looking out at the city, imaging what it would be like to be one of the people down there. To be someone who didn't have to live in this hospital every day. Someone who could go out and do things with their loved ones on nights like this. To not have to worry about what happens when the staff catches me out of bed and on the roof yet again.
I just want to watch the people and feel the snow on my face one more time before it all ends. To feel the bite of the cold air just one more time before they take me down to that room where everything will change and I won't be anything anymore.
They found the cancer when I was just a kid. I'm still just a kid. But, I've lived a long life in my fifteen years. A long life lived almost completely inside the white, sterile walls of a hospital where all I can do it look and wish.
Tomorrow morning, well, this morning now, it all ends. The chance of surviving this surgery is less than one percent.
I don't have the best of luck and we all know it. I've said my goodbyes and packed my things to make it easier on everyone once they call time of death. But, I wanted some time to myself before I finally call it quits.
You would think it would be something sad, a teenager saying goodbye before having actually lived their life. It's not, though. I have lived a lot of life through the books I've read and the shows I've watched. I've even written my fair share to be found and hopefully published once I am gone. Even if they aren't, I think I've made my mark on the world.
The type of cancer I have usually kills it's patients within their first year of life, but by being a test subject, I've helped raise that age to mid-teens. For some of us, that's just enough. Maybe not for the ones who love us most, but I have had my time and I've said my piece and now it is time for me to head back in, get warm, and go to sleep one last time.
Maybe I'll see you in my dreams. Maybe I'll watch out for you. Maybe I'll change your life.
There's a lot of "maybes" in this world. And maybe that's the best part of it all.